Lately I’ve been feeling too overwhelmed. Everything seems too much. The never ending work load, upcoming due dates, unpredictable relationships, static friendships, heated arguments, past mistakes, painful memories, high reach goals… Basically – life.
In the rush of the day, running from one occasion to another, I feel like I can’t even process what going on. Not being able to understand the events and their reflections on me, makes me feel desperate. Problems seem bigger than they actually are; feelings hurt more than they actually should.
Sometimes I can’t spare the time, and sometimes I avoid my thoughts and feelings purposely. I forget to ask myself basic questions that will in fact lead to the path of resolving my problems.
“What has happened? How did this make me feel? Why did I react this way? Am I okay now? And what am I planning to do?”
Although I don’t do this on a basis, deep down I know: returning to my cave is what I need the most. Talking to my self will work the best. Because problems seem more bearable when I analyse them; goals seem more achievable when I think on them.
It can be writing my feelings on a piece of paper while listening to a chill song, or even closing my eyes and letting the emotions fall. But what ever the method is, I know confronting myself gives meaning to my life.
I see that the thoughts and feelings that overwhelmed me a night before, start to feel okay. I slowly get a step closer to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I feel like I have the power to get things back together. Isn’t that all I need?
Watching a TV series in the middle of the night, this particular quote made me stop for a moment and question.
“Give yourself what you wish you could get from somebody else.”
I’ve been so used to be waiting for a miracle that will be the plot twist of my mind that I didn’t look at the mirror for a very long time.
“Is this really possible?” I asked my self. If we are capable of giving ourselves what we wish to get, would we wan’t it from someone else in the first place?
Yes it is, I realised. At least to an extent.
We first have to learn to be comfortable in our own skin, deal with the catastrophes within our minds and accept ourselves as who we are.
We have to be the love we wish to receive; be the change we wish to see.
This will not only help us feel better, but also open new doors. That’s when we will be able to get the things we wish to get from others. That’s when we will start to be happy.
We are all survivors of our own islands, with out an exception. In the rush of the day, running from one crisis to another, we carry weights heavier than we imagine on our shoulders. We deal with an unbearable work load, working for school or the office, managing our relationships with others and taking care of our loved ones. In short, we do our utmost best to satisfy others. We only miss one point through this process: ourselves.
Even though we occasionally forget, it is certain that we are living for ourselves, not others. Our minds and souls need their own space. Solitude isn’t something to be afraid of if you are ready to listen to your inner self; it is something every human being needs in order to live a healthy life.
All of us need time. To think about the past, future, and most importantly the present… To analyze our behaviours and delve into our thoughts… To understand what we want, what we wish and what we need…
Even if it sounds unnecessary, one day you will feel that you lack meaning in your life; you will notice that you can’t satisfy others before satisfying yourself if you don’t take care of yourself. Because the confrontation of one with his or her self, is what gives meaning to life.
So create time for yourself. It is way easier than you think. Just close your eyes, and return to your cave before you sleep every night. Let your soul enlighten your mind and body. Listen to a soothing song, light a candle that you like, and feel the moment. You may either feel good – and that’s great – or you may feel bad – and that’s also okay. What matters is being aware of yourself and your feelings. There will be good days, and bad days, but as long as you are listening to your inner self, everything will be okay at the end of the day.
Just believe in yourself, because you are stronger than you imagine. You have the power to change your life in your hands. What else can you ask for?
Focus. One of the most important qualities one needs on the path that leads to success. The ability to concentrate on that one task you have and lose track of time while working on it, is what makes it perfect at the end of the day.
But no matter how determined we are, we all have our little distractions that sweep us away. Don’t we? Whether it is a beautiful butterfly we see, a meaningful song we hear, a smile of a child that captivates our attention or a little puppy crawling on the streets, it distracts us; we find ourselves in the state of trance.
Believe me, this is miraculous. This means you are passionate. This means you can enjoy the moment. And this means you know how to live fully.
Don’t forget, even if focus is what gives us success, little distractions from daily life is what gives us the power to keep being focused.
Life becomes too hard to endure sometimes. We not only suffer, but also see our loved ones suffering. And it hurts; it hurts so much. We know, that our loved ones are hurt too, much more than we are, and this slowly kills us inside.
At those moments, we take responsibilities we can’t take. We assign ourselves missions, trying to pull out the people we love from the pit of despair they are in. With utmost sincerity, we try to help people we care about.
But we unfortunately miss a point: our own wellbeing. We lose the track of borders. While trying to be empathic, understand what they are going through and be there for them, we become sympathetic. We mirror the emotions our loved ones are going through; we feel their sadness, their regret, their despair.
This case, known as secondary traumatic stress, mimics the symptoms of the first hand trauma victim. And even though we don’t take it seriously, it may result in consequences much more severe than we think. Sometimes, we come to the point where we drown in our problems, so that we can’t even take care of the people we love anymore.
I know. It’s so great that we are trying to help; It’s so nice that we are touching others’ lives. But if we want to help someone, we have to help ourselves first. If we want to be there for someone, we have to be there for ourselves first. We should never forget: we are living for ourselves, not for anyone else.
Love people who are passionate about something, people who lose track of time while researching things that they are so curious about. Love people open to learn, people hungry for knowledge.
Love people who dream big, people who go after their goals. Love people who turn their thoughts in to actions.
Love people willing to love, people who bring happiness to the atmosphere. Love people eager to explore and not afraid to try.
Love people who still believe that this world can become a better place, people try to change something. Love people who create an impact, people who can touch to others’ lives.
Love people whose willingness to live shimmers through their eyes.
We all hear now and then about how women are discriminated, how they are viewed as second class citizens all around the globe. We are all aware of the fact that there is a reality about sexism. That women are abused, that women don’t earn the wage they deserve, and that they get hurt.
Some of us care about it; want to change something and act accordingly. Others, ignore the issue, and act as if it doesn’t exist – just because it’s not happening to them or the people they know.
But last day, I heard something. Something so terrible that I don’t believe any human being can ignore the severity of the issue…
“Are Women Considered As Human Beings?” Yes, unfortunately you read it correct. This name was given to a conference in Saudi Arabia, just a year ago. Hundreds of people came together, and debated on this agenda item. And guess what they had as a conclusion to the question. At the end of the conference in Riyad, they have decided that women are mammals, yet not “human”.
It is even hard to process the information, isn’t it? Even though I still have a hard time to accept that this conference was real, I only have one thing to say. Please question the humanity of your manhood, before even attempting to debate on whether women are human or not.
Be with people whom you can call at 2 a.m just because you have something interesting to share with them, people who know how lucky they are to have you in their life.
Be with people who will be there for you not only through your good days, but also your bad times, people who are candid.
Be with people who buy you food, people who get mad when you don’t eat well. People who look after you when you are ill, people who don’t say how much they care about you, but show this with their actions.
Be with people whom you can be your casual self next to them, people who accept you as who you are.
Be with people who cries when you cry, as well as who laughs when you lough, not people who laugh to your face and talk behind your back.
Be with people who try to entertain you, who make you happy. People who deserve the value you give them…