On Suicide: Does someone need to kill his/herself to express that he/she needs help?

From Amanda Todd to Hannah Baker, didn’t they all try to let us know what they have been going through? Didn’t they want help from us?

Then why didn’t we try to understand them? Tell me, did they really need to die, for the society to understand that they need help?

I know, you think that I’m exaggerating right now. But think carefully. Isn’t the story always written this way. You never understand the value of something until you lose it forever, right?

But there is a point that we all miss. This isn’t a story. We aren’t loosing a childhood toy or a lover. We are talking about lives. We are losing innocent, young and vulnerable human lives every single day.

Yes it is sad. Yes it is hard. But this is the harsh reality that we all try to escape from but never get rid of. If a tree is cut down at Amazon, it is the fault of all humanity. And again, if a innocent teen is passing away right now, no matter where on the world, it is all of us’ fault.

Don’t forget; these people think they want to die but infact they only want to be saved. So next time a friend tells you that they don’t feel good, listen to them. Okay? Next time you see a girl crying on the street, take your time to go talk with them. Next time you notice a friend hasn’t been feeling well since last week, go ask what has happened. Be there for them. Make them feel that you are ready support them, regardless of what has happened. Never judge. Because nowadays, we need good listeners much more than condescending strangers.

Divergent

As a person closely interested in psychology, I am aware of the fact that it is totally normal for me to go thought internal conflicts, especially regarding Freud’s Psychosexual Development Theory. The  theory says, through the genital stage, which is the final step of the psychosexual development, the teen goes into a series of internal conflicts regarding work, family, love and sexual desires. With the pressure of the society, instincts of survival, sexuality and violence as well as the constant opposition of the ego and the superego, the individual lives a though process of identity crises, trying to figure out who he is and what he wants from the world.

However, I don’t feel like I am going through a process of internal conflicts; I feel like I have two distinct personalities opposing inside me.

The first side of me is savage. Wants to succeed in business and politics – is even capable of becoming the president of a country. Takes Machiavelli as a source of inspiration. Wants a career in a business environment, where she will become the CEO or the CFO one day. Wants to master the art of rhetoric, and loves attention more than any thing. Thinks methodologically, acts strategically. Wants to earn great amounts of money, willing to see everyone take her as an idol. Most importantly, this side is ambitious. It is capable of doing everything in order to succeed and get what she wants one day.

The other side is peaceful. Wants a degree in psychology, maybe even philosophy one day. Takes her favourite author as a source of inspiration. Loves reading, writing, cooking and singing. Adores children and pets, loves spending time with her family. Wants to improve her self and widen her perspective on life. She believes that an individual must be self-satisfied, with out the need of anyone else to adore her. Puts her family and love life before work. Is disgusted by the corrupt and evil atmosphere of the work life. Most importantly she is full of love and vision. Believes that one day this world can change with people like her.

Can these personalities live in me in harmony at the same time? Will I ever be able to find the balance between them like yin and yang? Are these things I’m going through normal, or am I divergent? As you can imagine, there is an ongoing storms of questions through my mind.

Freud has stated that, the process becomes very difficult for the individual and his surrounding for that time being, but at the end it transforms the immature children to an independent individual, enabling him to be capable of love and work efficiently through his life. However, I am not sure if I will ever be able to complete this steps and evolve to the person who I am supposed to be. Who knows? Maybe I was supposed to be divergent in the first place.

Should Teens Be Involved In Politics?

In today’s globalised world where teenagers get involved with “adult” issues earlier and earlier day by day, one of the most debated issues is whether teenagers should be involved in politics or not. While some believe that every individual, no matter what age group they belong to, should be interested in global issues that concern everyone, others believe that it is very unnecessary for teenagers who aren’t even capable of shaping their own life should bother to think about politics.

Didn’t we used to say that one’s character and perspective on life gets shaped in their early ages of childhood? Then how can we expect one to take actions in order to make the world a better place if we isolate him or her from the rest of the world for the first 18 years of their life?

Actually the definition of politics is very self-explanatory. “Politics: the process of making decisions applying to all members of each group.” It clearly suggests that if an individual is a member of a group, he or she should be involved in the process of decision making concerning themselves and the society they live in.

I don’t say teens should actively participate in a political organization or identify themselves with a specific ideology. In fact, I truly believe that teenage years is a time period where the identity and ideology of an individual gets shaped, and therefore one shouldn’t have strict ideas on any issue. However, as every other educated individual regardless of their age group, teens should  also be aware of what’s happening all around the world.

They should read the news,without having the right to ignore the ongoing issues. No matter if they will major in comparative literature, art history or international relations and politics, every teen should be somehow involved in politics. Because politics doesn’t only mean deception and corruption; it is the science of the society if it is practiced in a healthy environment.

Actually the biggest role at this point falls on the parents. “My son’s/daughter’s psychology will be affected negatively; he/she is too young to think about these things.” isn’t an acceptable explanation. If parents think about the future of their own children and the sake of the humanity, they should let them face with the harsh realities of the globe and support them with objective evaluations, without manipulation.

Because at the end of the day, these children, who are unfortunately referred as “too young” to be involved in politics, will be the ones who shape the future of our world.

The Inevitable Process of the Loss of Individuality

Realization of the transformation from childhood to adulthood starts at the early teenage years, where these young adults are in the process of finding their own identities and shaping their characteristics – but maybe in other words losing what they already have in hand and getting in a robotic shaped structure.

A majority of high school students talk about growing up as a negative process. The most common words they use to describe their experiences through out their teenage years are “stress”, “responsibility”, “problem”, “anxiety”, “stereotypes”, “failure”, “depression”, “workload”.

I think the words, “I’m not living my own life anymore. I’ve stopped living for my self a long time ago” is well self-explanatory, indicating what today’s teenagers are going through.

 

Growing up brings responsibilities with it, responsibilities given by the society to the individuals. Societal pressure and expectations from the community brings the children down. They lose their own identities day by day and become puppets of the society. Regardless of their will, their future gets shaped by others.

First comes the school. Exams, projects, university, rivalry, which all end up with the word “stress”. Then come family, expectations, pressure, and the things they want from you. And then conflicts with every single person in your life, disagreements, the process of excluding the different one or losing your own self in order to be included. Later comes the process of finding a job, earning your own money, building a marriage, becoming a father and mother – once again regardless of your identity, your wants, wills, dreams and goals, only according to the ideal adult figure people’s mind.

And then people ask “How did I become like this? Why did I lose my innocence, curiosity, honesty? What has happened to me?” Then when they look back to them selves they see the loss of their own selves. They see that they couldn’t resist to the inevitable process of adapting to the harsh adult life, and turning to the typical boring adult figure they didn’t want to become years ago.