I know it will sound pretty extreme, and many readers will think that I am a complete psychopath. But I really feel the need to put my interesting thought processes into words. So here it goes.
Today I’ve come to a point where I realized many of my problems arise from one thing: my irrepressible urge to control everything.
I don’t know if I was born or raised this way. No matter which, it is certain that my mother – who is known to be one of the biggest control freaks living on the planet Earth – plays a huge role in my situation. But mine is a bit different.
I don’t know how to name it, but I guess basically I want to play God. I want to be able to know and shape who is friends with who, who shares what information with who, what will happen tomorrow, in the near future, or maybe even in 10 years. Okay, I admit that I’ve exaggerated the case to make it easier to tell. But it still is a big problem affecting my wellbeing.
As well as being a ridiculously unnecessary process, overthinking on things that I can’t change also takes a lot of time and energy. I make up hundreds of scenarios in my mind everyday, feeling depressed thinking about things that have no possibility to occur. And some of these things – they are not even my business. This contributes to my anxiety, and lowers my mood. Involuntarily, my mood reflects on people around me, pushing them farther away.
As a person who is closely interested in psychology, personal growth, and meditation I generally find my self in a vicious cycle that I still haven’t found a way out. But I have a few suggestions for the readers who deal with control issues and overthinking problems.
1- Admit that you can’t control everything. – lol, I know. Easy to say hard to accept. At least I’ve come to the point where I know that no matter how much I devastate my self, there are somethings that can’t be controlled by me.
2- Talk to people who don’t judge you. – Close friends, or even family members can judge overthinking if they never experienced it. And believe me I know how frustrating this can be. So talk to people who know and understand what you are going trough. They will relieve you by allowing you to share everything that is on your mind as well as guiding you to how to get rid of this habit.
3- Make your thoughts concrete by writing them on paper. – I know it sounds stupid but human brain is much better at understanding and coping with problems that are concrete. Writing your thoughts, and concerns will allow your brain to either realize that you’re doing a ridiculous thing by trying to control things that you can’t or your problems are much smaller than you think they are.