On Dependency

Dependency is not only used as a word to describe the situation of a “clingy” partner. A believer is dependent to god, a fanatic is dependent to his team, a patriotic citizen is dependent to his country, a mother is dependent to her son. But why human beings feel the need to be dependent on someone so desperately?

Not so suprisingly, it all starts because of the “insecurities” people get from their childhood. People who are not treated as individuals, but instead as children not capable of taking their own decisions, turn into “dependent” adults.

If today we have religious extremists, radical fanatics, or obsessed lovers in our society, we owe these characters to again ourselves, the society itself. And again, drug addiction or shopacholicness is no different than those I have listed above.

Think it this way. Taking actions of your own, and following your ideals no matter what is hard, extremely hard. It is already safer to act as a member of the group, without breaking the rules or trying something new. But you are turning that extremely hard accomlishment to an impossible one with your actions.

If you raise a children by saying “Don’t do that!”, “Go with the flow of the group.”, “No one will listen to you if you are alone.” they will grow up listening to their parents, doing what you say. Don’t forget, they started this world with a blank page. You were the one to filled in the blanks and guided them.

So look back at your self at the mirror before accusing the generations that you have raised years ago. Choose your words carefully; plan your actions strategically. It is easy to say you are “weak” or “dependent” from your seat. We want to see if you can become “independent” yourself? We’ll listen to you then, okay?

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On Nature vs. Nurture

The question “Are human characteristics genetic or not?” is one of the most debated questions in the world of psychology. “Do I act like my father because we have a genetic connection or because he is the one who raised me?” we all think.

There are different perspectives on the issue. Nativists support the idea that human characteristic depend on genetic inheritance. They suppose that personality is caused by evolution and characteristic differences between people are because of their genetic coding.

On the contrary, there is another point of view that supports human mind is at a blank state (tabula rasa) at birth and character shapes as time passes with experience and things people learn and face in life. The significant factor that affects human behavior is nurture, how they are raised. People supporting this ideology are called empiricists.

There are different theories and experiments supporting both of these groups. While everyone tries to choose a side between these two opinions, the reality is that both nature and nurture play a huge role in human character and the main question is which one is more effective. If you ask it to me, I feel like the way we are raised, our experiences, the conditions we live in, are the things what makes us, us and shape our personality.

However, at the end we will never be able to find a definite answer to this question, but it is certain that human character is the product of the unique interaction of our heredity and the way we are raised.

 

On Suicide: Does someone need to kill his/herself to express that he/she needs help?

From Amanda Todd to Hannah Baker, didn’t they all try to let us know what they have been going through? Didn’t they want help from us?

Then why didn’t we try to understand them? Tell me, did they really need to die, for the society to understand that they need help?

I know, you think that I’m exaggerating right now. But think carefully. Isn’t the story always written this way. You never understand the value of something until you lose it forever, right?

But there is a point that we all miss. This isn’t a story. We aren’t loosing a childhood toy or a lover. We are talking about lives. We are losing innocent, young and vulnerable human lives every single day.

Yes it is sad. Yes it is hard. But this is the harsh reality that we all try to escape from but never get rid of. If a tree is cut down at Amazon, it is the fault of all humanity. And again, if a innocent teen is passing away right now, no matter where on the world, it is all of us’ fault.

Don’t forget; these people think they want to die but infact they only want to be saved. So next time a friend tells you that they don’t feel good, listen to them. Okay? Next time you see a girl crying on the street, take your time to go talk with them. Next time you notice a friend hasn’t been feeling well since last week, go ask what has happened. Be there for them. Make them feel that you are ready support them, regardless of what has happened. Never judge. Because nowadays, we need good listeners much more than condescending strangers.

On Depression

Just like many other psychological term, “depression” is also misused in daily talks. While the word “depressed” is used to describe a temporary mood swing  through the day, in reality, depression is a lot more than a temporary state of low mood.

The medical definition of depression is “a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings, and sense of well-being”. While the causes differ in every patient, many people show similar symptoms. In order to be able to diagnose a patient with depression the following symptoms should be seen for at least to weeks.

  • Feeling sad, anxious, or empty
  • Feeling hopeless or pessimistic
  • Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless
  • Not enjoying life
  • Trouble with concentration, memory, or making decisions
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Appetite changes
  • Gaining or losing weight
  • Feeling restless or irritable
  • Thoughts of suicide or death

In short, depression isn’t an issue that can neither be underestimated nor be ignored. As it closely affects a person’s mental and physical wellbeing, it is a case that the should be taken seriously and be treated with therapy and medication.

I hope the magnitude of depression can be clearly understood in the following years, and our society’s narrow perspective on psychology can be widened.

Works Cited:

“Depression Center: Symptoms, Causes, Medications, and Therapies.” WebMD. WebMD, n.d. Web. 16 May 2017.