I want too many things and nothing at the same time, and not knowing where I am going tires me.
First, I want to explore. I want to try new things, meet new people, and go beyond my comfort zone. I want to live to the fullest.
But then, I want to stay – right where I am. I only want to keep what I have. Afraid of letting things go, I want to embrace the notable people around me, holding close to my past.
In fact, all I want is to build my future, without letting go of the people from my past. But to tell the truth I am afraid. Afraid that I will be disconnected, afraid that I will be lost. I am afraid to lose control, afraid of not knowing what to do next.
I know everything will fall back to its place. That I won’t loose the people I value, as long as they value me too. And I know that will be a way for me to learn: seeing who will leave, who will stay and accepting it.
I know good things are to come, because life has so much to offer and so much to explore. All I need is a little bit of courage.
I’ve changed a lot in the past year. I don’t know if it is good or bad, but I know that things aren’t the same anymore.
I grew up thinking that I wanted to be the best in everything. Graduating as the top of my class, I thought I wanted a career in business, politics or law. I was so ambitious that I fought for tooth and nail when I wanted something. I was loud and dominant, perhaps even annoying. I loved the attention, constantly craving the so-called “success” I achieved.
Now I want to be in ease within my self, to be self-satisfied by nature. I want to do what I enjoy doing, not what will bring me admiration from others. I want to hear that people are inspired by me, not jealous of. I want to explore love and build a family, rather than a demanding career.
I haven’t been the only one who noticed this change. Some say that I’ve lost my determination, my passion. They say I’ve lost my path, or don’t know what I want.
Gladly, this change also brought some realizations with it. I understood that true passion doesn’t mean going after things others want you to. It doesn’t mean being so ambitious that your eyes don’t see what really matters in life. Passion means doing things you love to do, being with people you care about. It means enjoying every moment you live fully.
“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within,” said Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now. With this change, I now know that I definitely want joy in my life.
via Daily Prompt: Dominant
Lately I’ve been feeling too overwhelmed. Everything seems too much. The never ending work load, upcoming due dates, unpredictable relationships, static friendships, heated arguments, past mistakes, painful memories, high reach goals… Basically – life.
In the rush of the day, running from one occasion to another, I feel like I can’t even process what going on. Not being able to understand the events and their reflections on me, makes me feel desperate. Problems seem bigger than they actually are; feelings hurt more than they actually should.
Sometimes I can’t spare the time, and sometimes I avoid my thoughts and feelings purposely. I forget to ask myself basic questions that will in fact lead to the path of resolving my problems.
“What has happened? How did this make me feel? Why did I react this way? Am I okay now? And what am I planning to do?”
Although I don’t do this on a basis, deep down I know: returning to my cave is what I need the most. Talking to my self will work the best. Because problems seem more bearable when I analyse them; goals seem more achievable when I think on them.
It can be writing my feelings on a piece of paper while listening to a chill song, or even closing my eyes and letting the emotions fall. But what ever the method is, I know confronting myself gives meaning to my life.
I see that the thoughts and feelings that overwhelmed me a night before, start to feel okay. I slowly get a step closer to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I feel like I have the power to get things back together. Isn’t that all I need?
Watching a TV series in the middle of the night, this particular quote made me stop for a moment and question.
“Give yourself what you wish you could get from somebody else.”
I’ve been so used to be waiting for a miracle that will be the plot twist of my mind that I didn’t look at the mirror for a very long time.
“Is this really possible?” I asked my self. If we are capable of giving ourselves what we wish to get, would we wan’t it from someone else in the first place?
Yes it is, I realised. At least to an extent.
We first have to learn to be comfortable in our own skin, deal with the catastrophes within our minds and accept ourselves as who we are.
We have to be the love we wish to receive; be the change we wish to see.
This will not only help us feel better, but also open new doors. That’s when we will be able to get the things we wish to get from others. That’s when we will start to be happy.
Focus. One of the most important qualities one needs on the path that leads to success. The ability to concentrate on that one task you have and lose track of time while working on it, is what makes it perfect at the end of the day.
But no matter how determined we are, we all have our little distractions that sweep us away. Don’t we? Whether it is a beautiful butterfly we see, a meaningful song we hear, a smile of a child that captivates our attention or a little puppy crawling on the streets, it distracts us; we find ourselves in the state of trance.
Believe me, this is miraculous. This means you are passionate. This means you can enjoy the moment. And this means you know how to live fully.
Don’t forget, even if focus is what gives us success, little distractions from daily life is what gives us the power to keep being focused.
Love people who are passionate about something, people who lose track of time while researching things that they are so curious about. Love people open to learn, people hungry for knowledge.
Love people who dream big, people who go after their goals. Love people who turn their thoughts in to actions.
Love people willing to love, people who bring happiness to the atmosphere. Love people eager to explore and not afraid to try.
Love people who still believe that this world can become a better place, people try to change something. Love people who create an impact, people who can touch to others’ lives.
Love people whose willingness to live shimmers through their eyes.
Be with people whom you can call at 2 a.m just because you have something interesting to share with them, people who know how lucky they are to have you in their life.
Be with people who will be there for you not only through your good days, but also your bad times, people who are candid.
Be with people who buy you food, people who get mad when you don’t eat well. People who look after you when you are ill, people who don’t say how much they care about you, but show this with their actions.
Be with people whom you can be your casual self next to them, people who accept you as who you are.
Be with people who cries when you cry, as well as who laughs when you lough, not people who laugh to your face and talk behind your back.
Be with people who try to entertain you, who make you happy. People who deserve the value you give them…
None of our lives are rainbows and butterflies. All of us, with out an exception, are going through rough days, ambling towards emptiness. And that’s absolutely okay.
The important thing isn’t not to fall down; in fact, it is being able to stand up and keep moving at the end of the day. And that’s not easy either. Sometimes we all feel so desperate that we feel the need to give up; we can’t find the power to keep going. At those moments, we need some signs from the universe saying that we are not alone, that everything will be okay.
Unfortunately, the universe isn’t always that generous to us. So we better create our own signs, by ourselves. They don’t have to be life changing news. If something can create a little smile on your face, believe me that is a miracle. And again believe me, you’ve succeeded.
- a cup of tea means the sincerity of my mother; it means comfort
- a book means intellectuality; it means the power of knowledge
- a blanket means the warmth of my home; it means safety
- a good old song means good old memories; it means motivation and hope
- a teddy bear means my childhood; it means pure happiness and innocence
What about yours? It doesn’t matter what you choose as your sign from the universe, or your motivating object – what ever you call it. Make sure that you can find a piece of comfort in them; that’s all you should look for.
Once I read an article. It used to say during times when you feel low, the number one question you should ask yourself is “Doing what would make me happy right now?” The author believed that you had to immediately stop what you are doing and turn your thoughts into action in order to treat yourself.
At first, the idea seemed meaningless. However, after some time I decided to try since I wouldn’t have anything to loose. Eventually I understood that the question wasn’t as easy as you imagined it would be to answer.
I quickly brainstormed. These were the first things that came to my mind.
- being with friends
- eating good food
- singing songs out loud
- reading the books I want
But I wasn’t satisfied. Reading when you felt low, didn’t change anything. Even eating your favourite pasta and chocolate didn’t give the taste it used to when your head wasn’t clear. Being with friends didn’t mean anything because when you feel down, they couldn’t cheer you up.
So I started to think once again. What really makes me happy?
I thought about it for days, maybe weeks, and my conclusion was surprising. Helping others was my answer. Helping others… No matter what, maybe a community service project, maybe tutoring a student or maybe just helping a friend. But it warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.
I’m not going to tell you to help people. Of course it’s a wonderful thing to do, but it is certain that the answer to the question differs for everyone. Ask yourself. “What really makes me happy?” It will neither be quick nor easy. But if you find the correct answer, you will see that it was worth it at the end of the day.