“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.” -Maya Angelou
I want too many things and nothing at the same time, and not knowing where I am going tires me.
First, I want to explore. I want to try new things, meet new people, and go beyond my comfort zone. I want to live to the fullest.
But then, I want to stay – right where I am. I only want to keep what I have. Afraid of letting things go, I want to embrace the notable people around me, holding close to my past.
In fact, all I want is to build my future, without letting go of the people from my past. But to tell the truth I am afraid. Afraid that I will be disconnected, afraid that I will be lost. I am afraid to lose control, afraid of not knowing what to do next.
I know everything will fall back to its place. That I won’t loose the people I value, as long as they value me too. And I know that will be a way for me to learn: seeing who will leave, who will stay and accepting it.
I know good things are to come, because life has so much to offer and so much to explore. All I need is a little bit of courage.
Choices. They are known to determine the course of our lives, shaping our future and creating differences. Right?
This is a very “tricky” topic, as Robert Frost points out in his famous poem “The Road Not Taken. The poem is one of the most well-known, yet misunderstood poems in English literature. Although many get lost with the last words, “I took the road less travelled by/ And that has made all the difference,” Frost ironically emphasizes how some choices are truly inseparable from others as he shows that two roads were no different than each other in the first place.
No matter how hard we try, we have no other chance other than to accept that our fate is determined by luck at certain points. So instead of being afraid of making decisions, we better have faith in ourselves and keeping to walk on the roads that are taken, rather than to be lost in forests we declined to choose.
Yes you, my friend.
You are the one to enlighten the future with your shining eyes and welcoming smile. You are the one to brighten our tomorrows with your wise ideas and enthusiasm to live.
I know there are people telling you that you are wrong. That you can’t succeed. And I know. They sometimes pull you down. Make you feel like you are doing the wrong thing. That you should give up, and perhaps never start again.
But my friend, remember. As Nelson Mandela once said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” And those who don’t have the courage to make it happen, will always make their best to keep you away from trying it.
So you better close your eyes, and pluck your ears. You better be bold and keep going. You will eventually see that you are much stronger than you think you are.
And don’t ever forget. Life has so much to offer, and so much to explore. All you got to do is not to be afraid of living fully.
I’ve changed a lot in the past year. I don’t know if it is good or bad, but I know that things aren’t the same anymore.
I grew up thinking that I wanted to be the best in everything. Graduating as the top of my class, I thought I wanted a career in business, politics or law. I was so ambitious that I fought for tooth and nail when I wanted something. I was loud and dominant, perhaps even annoying. I loved the attention, constantly craving the so-called “success” I achieved.
Now I want to be in ease within my self, to be self-satisfied by nature. I want to do what I enjoy doing, not what will bring me admiration from others. I want to hear that people are inspired by me, not jealous of. I want to explore love and build a family, rather than a demanding career.
I haven’t been the only one who noticed this change. Some say that I’ve lost my determination, my passion. They say I’ve lost my path, or don’t know what I want.
Gladly, this change also brought some realizations with it. I understood that true passion doesn’t mean going after things others want you to. It doesn’t mean being so ambitious that your eyes don’t see what really matters in life. Passion means doing things you love to do, being with people you care about. It means enjoying every moment you live fully.
“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within,” said Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now. With this change, I now know that I definitely want joy in my life.
I never used to understand the value of listening. I only wanted to express my self, and poor I, only believed that expression can be done through talking.
Now I slowly understand. That silence can sometimes be the most powerful scream. That a look can mean a lot more than words. That silence has a meaning; that it has a comfort.
Believe me, no matter how wise he or she speaks, if one is not capable of keeping their mouth shut and accepting you as who you are, they won’t be able to help you after a certain point. Unfortunately nowadays, a true listener is found much rarer than a speaker.
And if somehow, you have found someone to listen to you, know that you are very lucky.
Unfortunately years after today, we will neither remember days nor the hours; we will only remember moments. So even if that one word or one look will touch to our lives at some point, they are truly worthy of living. Life has so much to offer and so much to explore. All we have to do is to not be afraid living fully.
Lately I’ve been feeling too overwhelmed. Everything seems too much. The never ending work load, upcoming due dates, unpredictable relationships, static friendships, heated arguments, past mistakes, painful memories, high reach goals… Basically – life.
In the rush of the day, running from one occasion to another, I feel like I can’t even process what going on. Not being able to understand the events and their reflections on me, makes me feel desperate. Problems seem bigger than they actually are; feelings hurt more than they actually should.
Sometimes I can’t spare the time, and sometimes I avoid my thoughts and feelings purposely. I forget to ask myself basic questions that will in fact lead to the path of resolving my problems.
“What has happened? How did this make me feel? Why did I react this way? Am I okay now? And what am I planning to do?”
Although I don’t do this on a basis, deep down I know: returning to my cave is what I need the most. Talking to my self will work the best. Because problems seem more bearable when I analyse them; goals seem more achievable when I think on them.
It can be writing my feelings on a piece of paper while listening to a chill song, or even closing my eyes and letting the emotions fall. But what ever the method is, I know confronting myself gives meaning to my life.
I see that the thoughts and feelings that overwhelmed me a night before, start to feel okay. I slowly get a step closer to feel comfortable in my own skin.
I feel like I have the power to get things back together. Isn’t that all I need?
Watching a TV series in the middle of the night, this particular quote made me stop for a moment and question.
“Give yourself what you wish you could get from somebody else.”
I’ve been so used to be waiting for a miracle that will be the plot twist of my mind that I didn’t look at the mirror for a very long time.
“Is this really possible?” I asked my self. If we are capable of giving ourselves what we wish to get, would we wan’t it from someone else in the first place?
Yes it is, I realised. At least to an extent.
We first have to learn to be comfortable in our own skin, deal with the catastrophes within our minds and accept ourselves as who we are.
We have to be the love we wish to receive; be the change we wish to see.
This will not only help us feel better, but also open new doors. That’s when we will be able to get the things we wish to get from others. That’s when we will start to be happy.