We are all survivors of our own islands, with out an exception. In the rush of the day, running from one crisis to another, we carry weights heavier than we imagine on our shoulders. We deal with an unbearable work load, working for school or the office, managing our relationships with others and taking care of our loved ones. In short, we do our utmost best to satisfy others. We only miss one point through this process: ourselves.
Even though we occasionally forget, it is certain that we are living for ourselves, not others. Our minds and souls need their own space. Solitude isn’t something to be afraid of if you are ready to listen to your inner self; it is something every human being needs in order to live a healthy life.
All of us need time. To think about the past, future, and most importantly the present… To analyze our behaviours and delve into our thoughts… To understand what we want, what we wish and what we need…
Even if it sounds unnecessary, one day you will feel that you lack meaning in your life; you will notice that you can’t satisfy others before satisfying yourself if you don’t take care of yourself. Because the confrontation of one with his or her self, is what gives meaning to life.
So create time for yourself. It is way easier than you think. Just close your eyes, and return to your cave before you sleep every night. Let your soul enlighten your mind and body. Listen to a soothing song, light a candle that you like, and feel the moment. You may either feel good – and that’s great – or you may feel bad – and that’s also okay. What matters is being aware of yourself and your feelings. There will be good days, and bad days, but as long as you are listening to your inner self, everything will be okay at the end of the day.
Just believe in yourself, because you are stronger than you imagine. You have the power to change your life in your hands. What else can you ask for?
Focus. One of the most important qualities one needs on the path that leads to success. The ability to concentrate on that one task you have and lose track of time while working on it, is what makes it perfect at the end of the day.
But no matter how determined we are, we all have our little distractions that sweep us away. Don’t we? Whether it is a beautiful butterfly we see, a meaningful song we hear, a smile of a child that captivates our attention or a little puppy crawling on the streets, it distracts us; we find ourselves in the state of trance.
Believe me, this is beautiful. This means you are passionate. This means you can enjoy the moment. And this means you know how to live fully.
Don’t forget, even if focus is what gives us success, little distractions from daily life is what gives us the power to keep being focused.
“Life, as it is imposed on us, is too hard for us; it brings us too much pain, too many disappointments, to many insoluble problems.” -Sigmund Freud
Life becomes too hard to endure sometimes. We not only suffer, but also see our loved ones suffering. And it hurts; it hurts so much. We know, that our loved ones are hurt too, much more than we are, and this slowly kills us inside.
At those moments, we take responsibilities we can’t take. We assign ourselves missions of superheroes, trying to pull out the people we love from the pit of despair they are in. With utmost sincerity, we try to help the people we care about.
But we unfortunately miss a point: our own wellbeing. We lose the track of borders. While trying to be empathic, understand what they are going through and be there for them, we become sympathetic. We mirror the emotions our loved ones are going through; we feel their sadness, their regret, their despair.
This case, known as secondary traumatic stress, mimics the symptoms of the first hand trauma victim. And even though we don’t take it seriously, it may result in consequences much more severe than we think. Sometimes, we come to the point where we drown in our problems, so that we can’t even take care of the people we love anymore.
I know. It’s so great that we are trying to help; It’s so nice that we are touching others’ lives and making an impact on this world. But if we want to help someone, we have to help ourselves first; If we want to be there for someone, we have to be there for ourselves first. We should never forget: We are living for ourselves, not for anyone else.
Love people who are passionate about something, people who lose track of time while researching something that they are so curious about. Love people open to learn, people hungry for knowledge.
Love people who dream big, people who go after their goals. Love people who turn their thoughts in to actions.
Love people willing to love, people who bring happiness to the atmosphere. Love people eager to explore and not afraid to try.
Love people who still believe that this world can become a better place, people try to change something. Love people who create an impact, people who can touch to others’ lives.
Love people whose willingness to live shimmers through their eyes.
We all here now and then about how women are discriminated, how they are viewed as second class citizens all around the globe. We are all aware of the fact that there is a reality about sexism. That women are abused, that women don’t earn the wage they deserve, and that they get hurt.
Some of us care about it; want to change something and act accordingly. Others, ignore the issue, and act as if it doesn’t exist – just because it’s not happening to them or the people they know.
But last day, I heard something. Something so terrible that I don’t believe any human being can ignore the severity of the issue…
“Are Women Considered As Human Beings?” Yes, unfortunately you read it correct. This name was given to a conference in Saudi Arabia, just a year ago. Hundreds of people came together, and debated on this agenda item. And guess what they had as a conclusion to the question. At the end of the conference in Riyad, they have decided that women are mammals, yet not “human”.
It is even hard to process the information, isn’t it? Even though I still have a hard time to accept that this conference was real, I only have one thing to say. Please question the humanity of your manhood, before even attempting to debate on whether women are human or not.
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Be with people whom you can call at 2 a.m just because you have something interesting to share with them, people who know how lucky they are to have you in their life.
Be with people who will be there for you not only through your good days, but also your bad times, people who are for “real”.
Be with people who buy you food, people who get mad when you don’t eat well. People who look after you when you are ill, people who don’t say how much they care about you, but show this with their actions.
Be with people whom you can be your casual self next to them, people who accept you as who you are.
Be with people who cries when you cry, as well as who laughs when you lough, not people who laugh to your face and talk behind your back.
Be with people who make you happy, people who deserve the value you give them.
None of our lives are passing with rainbows and sunshine. All of us, with out an exception, are going through rough days, ambling towards emptiness. And that’s absolutely okay. We are human, not robots. We fall; we break down. We cry, we need help.
The important thing isn’t not to fall down; in fact, it is being able to stand up and keep moving at the end of the day. And that’s not easy either. Sometimes we all feel so desperate that we feel the need to give up; we can’t find the power to keep going. At those moments, we need some signs from the universe that we are not alone, that everything will be okay.
Unfortunately, the universe isn’t always that generous to us. So we better create our own signs by ourselves. They don’t have to be life changing news. If something can create a little smile on your face, believe me that is a miracle. And again believe me, you’ve succeeded.
- a cup of tea means the sincerity of my mother; it means comfort
- a book means intellectuality; it means the power of knowledge
- a blanket means the warmth of my home; it means safety
- a good old song means good old memories; it means motivation and hope
- a teddy bear means my childhood; it means pure happiness and innocence
What about yours? It doesn’t matter what you choose as your sign of the universe, or motivating object – what ever you call it. Make sure that you can find a piece of comfort in them; that’s all you should look for.
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All human beings are distinct individuals, responsible from their own selves. However, no matter how different we are from each other, in order to live a full life, we all have to cooperate with others. We have to come together and live as a part of a society according to our common interests.
From managing a firm to leading a group, from dancing in harmony to taking care of a child, we need our partners in crime, in every aspect of our lives.
This neither means that we are weak, nor incapable of doing what we want to. But in order to enjoy our lifespan, be successful and most importantly happy, it is certain that we have to share our lives with our significant others at some point. Whether they are our business partners, classmates or loved ones, we truly need them.
In fact, choosing a partner, trusting them to walk on a path together, is very hard. So from now on try to be cooperative; don’t push people away. Be careful; but don’t be afraid to trust. And if by chance, you have already found your partner in crime, don’t let them go. Believe me, you are one of the luck ones.
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