change is inevitable

Isn’t it incredible how much can change in a year?

How close you can become with people who just came to your life. And how you can become strangers with people whom you shared your deepest scars with.

Not only things around you, but how much you, yourself, changes. How different your goals, dreams and wishes are from a year ago.

Although making me feel like there is nothing permanent to hold on in my life, I also know that change absolutely normal. Because we are all human. Because we are shaped by our experiences. Because we make mistakes, and learn. Because we get hurt, and heal.

Because change –  is inevitable.

Change is nothing to be afraid of. And it is never good to hold too close on things that will not last a long time anyways. Thoughts that will differ, people who will leave…

If you ask me, I’d say be grateful for this opportunity. How wonderful it is that we are growing, learning, exploring and getting know to ourselves better.

Try to observe the change, the nature of it. See if you can catch patterns. Where you are inclined to go, what you love to do… It is so easy if you try to see it.

You can even understand it from comparing two pieces of writing. That is what I do every year. Write my wishes for the new year and compare it with the last year’s. Believe it or not, even the way of expression, word choice, style of writing changes from a year to a year, as well as perspective, thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and character.

What ever you do allow change, and let it help you evolve. You will see that you will find serenity in the blowing wind. 🙂

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some chaos

The word chaos has negative connotations in many of our minds, right? It is perceived as a concept to be scared of, known to ruin the so called order of our lives.

In fact chaos lies beneath the fundamentals of a healthy human life, as consecutive chaotic events are what create the event stream we live through everyday.

Who knows? Maybe you need to be fired from that investment bank to start working on your start-up, maybe you need to be rejected from the position you applied as the head of the school newspaper in order to found the dancing club, and maybe you need to be dumped by your boyfriend to find the true love of your life.

I know these all sound like I am trying to make a series of movie scenes become real, but it is always good to keep your hopes high. And although I don’t believe in these a hundred percent, even saying that there is a higher power created by the universe and it oversees us makes me feel better. Perhaps, what we call chaos is no more than some tricks the universe plays on us, pushing us to arrive at our final destinations.

Please don’t forget: Just like people have to go through their worst, to arrive at their best, the flow of our lives should be disrupted at certain points to create a foundation for better tomorrows.

Have faith in yourself and the power you hold in your hands.

What do you say now? Are you ready to jump right into some chaos?

the irrepressible urge to control everything

I know it will sound pretty extreme, and many readers will think that I am a complete psychopath. But I really feel the need to put my interesting thought processes into words. So here it goes.

Today I’ve come to a point where I realized many of my problems arise from one thing: my irrepressible urge to control everything.

I don’t know if I was born or raised this way. No matter which, it is certain that my mother – who is known to be one of the biggest control freaks living on the planet Earth – plays a huge role in my situation. But mine is a bit different.

I don’t know how to name it, but I guess basically I want to play God. I want to be able to know and shape who is friends with who, who shares what information with who, what will happen tomorrow, in the near future, or maybe even in 10 years. Okay, I admit that I’ve exaggerated the case to make it easier to tell. But it still is a big problem affecting my wellbeing.

As well as being a ridiculously unnecessary process, overthinking on things that I can’t change also takes a lot of time and energy. I make up hundreds of scenarios in my mind everyday, feeling depressed thinking about things that have no possibility to occur. And some of these things – they are not even my business. This contributes to my anxiety, and lowers my mood. Involuntarily, my mood reflects on people around me, pushing them farther away.

As a person who is closely interested in psychology, personal growth, and meditation I generally find my self in a vicious cycle that I still haven’t found a way out. But I have a few suggestions for the readers who deal with control issues and overthinking problems.

1- Admit that you can’t control everything. –  lol, I know. Easy to say hard to accept. At least I’ve come to the point where I know that no matter how much I devastate my self, there are somethings that can’t be controlled by me.

2- Talk to people who don’t judge you. – Close friends, or even family members can judge overthinking if they never experienced it. And believe me I know how frustrating this can be. So talk to people who know and understand what you are going trough. They will relieve you by allowing you to share everything that is on your mind as well as guiding you to how to get rid of this habit.

3- Make your thoughts concrete by writing them on paper. – I know it sounds stupid but human brain is much better at understanding and coping with problems that are concrete. Writing your thoughts, and concerns will allow your brain to either realize that you’re doing a ridiculous thing by trying to control things that you can’t or your problems are much smaller than you think they are.

a little bit of courage

I want too many things and nothing at the same time, and not knowing where I am going tires me.

First, I want to explore. I want to try new things, meet new people, and go beyond my comfort zone. I want to live to the fullest.

But then,  I  want to stay – right where I am. I only want to keep what I have. Afraid of letting things go, I want to embrace the people around me, holding close to my past.

In fact, all I want is to build my future, without letting go of the people from my past. But to tell the truth I am afraid. Afraid that I will be disconnected, afraid that I will be lost. I am afraid to lose control, afraid of not knowing what to do next.

I know everything will fall back to its place. That I won’t loose the people I value, as long as they value me too. And I know that will be a way for me to learn: accepting who will leave, and who will stay.

I know good things are to come, because life has so much to offer and so much to explore. All I need is a little bit of courage.

The Roads That Are Taken

Choices. They are known to determine the course of our lives, shaping our future and creating differences. Right?

This is a very “tricky” topic, as Robert Frost points out in his famous poem “The Road Not Taken. The poem is one of the most well-known, yet misunderstood poems in English literature. Although many get lost with the last words, “I took the road less travelled by/ And that has made all the difference,” Frost  ironically emphasizes how some choices are truly inseparable from others as he shows that two roads were no different than each other in the first place.

No matter how hard we try, we have no other chance other than to accept that our fate is determined by luck at certain points. So instead of being afraid of making decisions, we better have faith in ourselves and keeping to walk on the roads that are taken, rather than to be lost in forests we declined to choose.

The Road Not Taken
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost

 

 

 

 

You

You.

Yes you, my friend.

You are the one to enlighten the future with your shining eyes and welcoming smile. You are the one to brighten our tomorrows with your wise ideas and enthusiasm to live.

I know there are people telling you that you are wrong. That you can’t succeed. And I know. They sometimes pull you down. Make you feel like you are doing the wrong thing. That you should give up, and perhaps never start again.

But my friend, remember. As Nelson Mandela once said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” And those who don’t have the courage to make it happen, will always make their best to keep you away from trying it.

So you better close your eyes, and pluck your ears. You better be bold and keep going. You will eventually see that you are much stronger than you think you are.

And don’t ever forget. Life has so much to offer, and so much to explore. All you got to do is not to be afraid of living fully.

 

Change

I’ve changed a lot in the past year. I don’t know if it is good or bad, but I know that things aren’t the same anymore.

I grew up thinking that I wanted to be the best in everything. Graduating as the top of my class, I thought I wanted a career in business, politics or law. I was so ambitious that I fought for tooth and nail when I wanted something. I was loud and dominant, perhaps even annoying. I loved the attention, constantly craving the so-called “success” I achieved.

Now I want to be in ease within my self, to be self-satisfied by nature. I want to do what I enjoy doing, not what will bring me admiration from others. I want to hear that people are inspired by me, not jealous of. I want to explore love and build a family, rather than a demanding career.

I haven’t been the only one who noticed this change. Some say that I’ve lost my determination, my passion. They say I’ve lost my path, or don’t know what I want.

Gladly, this change also brought some realizations with it. I understood that true passion doesn’t mean going after things others want you to. It doesn’t mean being so ambitious that your eyes don’t see what really matters in life. Passion means doing things you love to do, being with people you care about. It means enjoying every moment you live fully.

“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within,” said Eckhart Tolle in his book The Power of Now. With this change, I now know that I definitely want joy in my life.

via Daily Prompt: Dominant

The Comfort of Silence

I never used to understand the value of listening. I only wanted to express my self, and poor I, only believed that expression can be done through talking.

Now I slowly understand. That  silence can sometimes be the most powerful scream. That a look can mean a lot more than words. That silence has a meaning; that it has a comfort.

Believe me, no matter how wise he or she speaks, if one is not capable of keeping their mouth shut and accepting you as who you are, they won’t be able to help you after a certain point. Unfortunately nowadays, a true listener is found much rarer than a speaker.

And if somehow, you have found someone to listen to you, know that you are very lucky.

Living Fully

Unfortunately years after today, we will neither remember days nor the hours; we will only remember moments. So even if that one word or one look will touch to our lives at some point, they are truly worthy of living. Life has so much to offer and so much to explore. All we have to do is to not be afraid living fully.